Because a huge (and probably the biggest) chapter of my life is about to come to a close, I think it’s time for me to blog about this. So here goes:
Having to go through a really difficult childhood, I grew up believing that everything slips away. Sure, I believed in happy endings, but that was a problem- the concept of forever is something I find so vague, that it becomes more impossible than it is probable. This is why I’ve always believed that everything, no matter how good or bad, has to have an ending.
And as the cliché goes, every ending has a new beginning.
I have a (half) sister. For those who don’t know, we met back when we were in gradeschool, thinking we were probably distant cousins. It wasn’t until high school that we realized that we had the same father and.. things have been one hell of a ride since then.
Most of our high school existence was about keeping our secret safe so our mothers wouldn’t know what we knew, going as far as changing surnames every time one visits the other. It was a huge load to carry at the time; but as what happens with most (if not all) secrets, the truth eventually came out.
Our moms actually handled the news a lot better than we had expected. They didn’t freak out or anything, they both replied (in separate occasions) that they already knew. Just like that. It felt like delivering what you thought was the funniest joke in the universe then finding out that the one you’re talking to already knew the punchline. That was how anticlimactic the revelation was, but I’m not complaining or anything because it spared us from being faced with a wide range of potentially awkward situations.
We’ve been living in this our-moms-know-but-they’re-still-not-talking-to-each-other-but-they’re-okay-with-us-hanging-out-together-and-stuff situation for the past two or three years.
Then tonight happened.
After God-knows-how-many years, our moms finally saw each other face-to-face. The event was abrupt and completely unexpected. There we were standing by the gate to our house, watching in awe (and in tears) how our moms were finally talking to each other, as if nothing had happened. We’ve always pictured how this event would go, but our younger high school selves probably couldn’t even imagine that all of this would end as wonderfully as it did tonight.
See, this is why I believe in endings more than I do in forever. An ending gives you a chance to have a fresh start and to make the wrong things right, whereas forever doesn’t. Whether we admit it to ourselves or not, we do not like the idea that everything has to end because having a new beginning means change- something that most of us would approach with uncertainty, which isn’t exactly the most assuring feeling in the world.
But whatever, I say we should take the fall- no matter how scary and uncertain we are about how things are going to turn out. Put an end to old issues, pack up baggage from the past and start anew.
It all comes down to the point where you don’t even know who’s definitely going to be around forever or just a while. People change- sometimes it happens for the best, sometimes it happens for the worst. Bad things can happen to anyone, anytime. People lie, cheat, and break hearts. Some just don’t care about how you feel at all. Your heart is constantly beating- yes, even if you are in pain. No matter how much pain you’re in, the world won’t stop to help you up- you have to stand up on your own and catch up with everything around you.
Things will eventually fall into place and everything will be okay. The best we can do is to be thankful for the people around us- people who make your day, be it through writing “I love you” across the sky or through being just there at a time you need someone the most. Forgive and forget- you forgive,but don’t forget, especially the people you love, and those you have once loved. Give life all you’ve got and live it to the fullest. Know that some people would kill to be you. Someone always has it worse than you do, but that doesn’t mean your pain doesn’t count.
Bad things happen to everyone, so don’t just sit there and wait it out. Get up and do something about it. Like what they say, nobody said it was going to be easy- they only said that it was all going to be worth it.